Uncle Touchy ‘want to make your stomach turn and weird you out’ and ‘like their music like they like their porn: heavy, sweaty, drunk and gross’ – allegedly. Not our words but their own, they are self titled ‘white trash misanthropic hardcore’, certainly not a pretty formed Emo boy band. “Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Violence” has been made to test the listener, based in and around Noise Rock and Hardcore from a four piece line up of Justin Lewis – Vocals, Chris Moree – Bass, Kevin Yount – Guitar and Jonathon Mackey – Drums.
It’s very easy to dismiss this album as noise, the first 5 tracks are an ear drum assault of punk-styled guitars, screaming vocals and some insane drumming patterns. Most tracks are awkward and gnarly to listen to, due to the aforementioned frantic drumming and the ferocious punk attitude.
Once the initial impact has washed over you, it’s easier to see just how clever some of these tracks are. There’s a little funky bass line here and a tuneful guitar part there which stops songs mashing into one complete wall of noise. There isn’t much to pick between the first 4 ‘assaults’ – ‘Body hammer’ and ‘Tire Tread on Burst Stomach’ in particular can almost be blended into one song without any realisation or effort by the listener.
The album has a chaotic start and lives up to the pre-band hype very well. Something then changes, melodies and patterns appear with more regularity. The guitar parts become less punky, the vocals become less harsh and the drummer calms down. The whole album hits almost a groove and dare I say it… the songs become catchier?
I’m suddenly not feeling the initial sale, my stomach has stopped turning. The raw porn these guys like has changed from one of heavy, sweaty and gross to more rhythmical love making. It’s at this point songs begin battling for the right of standout track. ‘Forced Out’, ‘Dimebagged’ and ‘Officer Sausage Fingers’ all fighting for that right, the latter has almost a classic groove to it.
It doesn’t matter how much these songs fight, Uncle Touchy leave the best to last, not only in song but in title: ‘The Sensual, Yet Forbidden, Pleasures of the Ladyboys of Thailand’. A title most would want to, but never dare release, and the song leaves the listener with a warm smile.
Like the beautiful game this is an album of 2 halves, how intentional it was to calm the album down is unknown, but it feels deliberate. Have Uncle Touchy given us their 2 sides in one album? Only their next album can tell us.