Green Day - ¡Dos!There is a scene in the first season of zombie TV show The Walking Dead, where a police horse is knocked down and devoured by a horde of zombies, it’s pretty intense, so why is this relevant to a Green Day review? Because Green Day are the horse, dead, lifeless and pretty much just waiting to be buried. The zombies are Green Day‘s 2012 musical output, a quagmire of turgid, plodding, rotting blandness that is eating the band alive.

“¡Dos!” is the second stop on the Green Day ‘Road to Mediocrity tour 2012’, and is arguably worse than anybody could have anticipated. There was a point many years ago when a Green Day album both highly anticipated and rapturously received. However, those days are long behind us, as nowadays you can hear the collective groans the world over every time the band puts their name to something.

If you think I’m being unfair, then you clearly haven’t heard anything the band has put out in the last two months, “¡Uno!”, the first part of the band’s Spanish numbers trilogy, sounds like Cannibal Corpse in comparison to “¡Dos!” An album so painfully dull that you will literally be able to hear paint dry in the background as you listen to it. An album that even readers of NME would say was middle of the road. Yes, Green Day have become a full blown pipe and slippers band, that couldn’t even go a round in a shadow boxing match with the shadow of their former selves.

Take ‘Fuck Time’ as an example of how bad this album is, a song that is as plodding as the zombies mentioned in the opening paragraph, but has the childish appeal of getting the word Fuck into the equation. It’s a pointless exercise that serves no purpose than to just casually drop a swear word into an otherwise bland track.

The trend continues throughout “¡Dos!”. There is not a single song on here with a memorable hook, a decent riff or anything even remotely resembling the band that wrote classic albums like “Dookie” and “Nimrod.” A band that would no longer be able to write their way out of a paper bag. Green Day are a band that has taken a severe fall from grace over the last few years, and many have to wonder if there is any way the band can or will recover from this or is the damage already done.

Based on the evidence provided by “¡Uno!” and “¡Dos!”, it’s pretty much a no brainer that “¡Tres!” is not going to be worth bothering with. It’s amazing to think that three albums worth of material can provide the listener with barely even an album’s worth of listenable songs. Perhaps even more worrying, is the fact that over the course of two album, in the space of two months, Green Day can’t even write an album better than a mediocre one written by All Time Low. Think about that for a second…

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